Bangladesh Feminist Archives

by Asef Abdullah

The recent Reddit exposé case of BUET got me thinking, what’s the fault in our upbringing, and how can students from such reputed universities be so perverted?

As the BUET exposé case is currently an allegation and not a proven crime, I’m not going to use the name of the accused. I’ll simply talk about the Reddit account’s fantasies and previous cases.

From the Reddit account, I see religious dominance, power play, and the pleasure of being on top. This pleasure is much more psychological rather than sexual. From the confessions on Reddit, I can clearly say that these things are a kind of fetish for that user. I’ll be quoting directly from those confessions — this may be disturbing for some of you.

“As a Hindu I can say, the busty figure of Muslim women with a burka turns me on so much. Their curves over the burka, those huge boobs flashing on the burka. That huge ass ready to be spanked, bouncing when the Muslimah walks.”

“I once forced my Muslim student into a great fuck lol. It’s kinda hot.”

These statements show his desire towards a specific group of women for sex. Yes, we can call these fetishes. Fetishes are actually quite normal. Fantasies and kinks are widely practiced among human beings. Human sexuality comes in many forms, and fetishes are a common expression of sexual desire.

According to the World Health Organization, fetishistic fantasies are common and should only be treated as a disorder when they impair normal functioning or cause distress.

Let’s break it down. Being sexually attracted to people of another religion isn’t inherently a fetish. But if someone is specifically turned on by the idea that the other person belongs to a different religion, treating that difference as the main source of excitement or eroticism, it can lean into fetishization.

As long as it’s healthy, not hurting anyone, and involves the consent of both people, it’s okay to express your sexual preferences.

But if it’s forced, or if it makes someone’s social life uncomfortable, it becomes a problem. When a fetish becomes a source of discomfort or distress, it may be considered a fetishistic disorder. If you have a fetish that’s affecting your life negatively, you may want to seek treatment and support.

After seeing these exposés, I really went into deep thoughts. What’s wrong with our education? Our surroundings? Our society? Turns out, everything is wrong.

Growing up in a patriarchal society, with anti-women media, anti-women language, and no access to sex education, has brought up so many perverts and rapists in our country. Patriarchy has created a dominating figure in most boys’ minds; when they grow up, they see themselves as superior and in control.

No sex education leads to a lack of understanding about consent. Many men still normalize or justify underage marriage. Every day there are headlines about rape cases, but we don’t see justice for any of them. When it comes to women, there’s always crime, never justice.

The views expressed in this article are the author’s own. Bangladesh Feminist Archives publishes a range of feminist voices that challenge state power, patriarchy, and systems of silence. We believe in creating space for dissent, dialogue, and the multiplicity of feminist thought in Bangladesh.