Bangladesh Feminist Archives

by Sadman Ahmed Siam

Patriarchy seems to have a hydra-like power to manifest itself in many forms. Arguably, one of its bigger heads has always been education. Apart from the systemic biases against women, a specific sector has long been complicit in the perpetuation of patriarchy in our country. That sector, as you have probably guessed from the title, is the teachers of boys-only schools.

Usually, in boys-only schools, boys tend to view women as some “other” kind of being due to the lack of interaction with women in their formative years. And instead of teaching them to view women as human beings just like themselves, teachers often perpetuate the myth of male supremacy in the form of ill advice, such as: “Why would you chase girls? If you study hard and earn money, girls will chase you!” Many portray girls as “gold diggers” who view boys with money as their preferred option. Others suggest that men should build themselves up in order to protect women from harm.

The dehumanisation of women continues as teachers motivate boys through ideas such as: “When you achieve success, girls and girls’ parents will chase you to make you their bridegroom,” and even through scare tactics before exams: “Girls wouldn’t care if you don’t study. They will simply find another boy who studies because he is going to be rich.” Through these lenses, boys learn to view women not as human beings with whom to build connections, but rather as prizes to be won.

When teachers dehumanise women to boys during their adolescence, these ideas become internalised within their psyche. Many boys grow up believing that love must be earned through external success, such as academic achievement and financial stability, while undervaluing more important qualities such as mutual connection, understanding, personality, compassion, and empathy. When they later face rejection despite their success, some begin to see women as “mysterious” or “hard to understand.” They blame women for failing to recognise their worth, without realising that meaningful relationships depend not only on grades and salary but also on emotional compatibility and human connection. In such thinking, marriage or relationships risk becoming mere exchanges of mutual advantage.

One crucial point is often missing in this entire narrative: boys are rarely taught that women also have agency. Women have their own choices, aspirations, needs, and goals. The failure to recognise women’s autonomy contributes to the continued marginalisation and mistreatment of women. Women who confidently reject advances, even when they are respectful, are often met with resentment or hostility.

Teachers carry immense responsibility for shaping boys’ values during their formative adolescent years. The ideas taught during this period often stay with them for life. When educators reproduce reactionary and patriarchal attitudes, those attitudes ripple outward into society. One can only hope that teachers in all schools will begin to emphasise the values of equality and justice, fostering healthier relationships based on mutual respect, companionship, and recognition of women as full human beings.

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This piece is part of Political & Personal: An Anthology of Gender & Sexuality Issues in Bangladesh, a weekly series by the Bangladesh Feminist Archives. To read all contributions and view submission guidelines, click here.