Written by Tanveer Anoy
I’m angry at how people who speak endlessly about social justice suddenly go silent, or selective, when it actually matters. Two people were killed on the same day, yet over and over again, I see the same pattern: one name is remembered, circulated, made visible, while the other is sidelined, almost erased.
This is not about disrespecting Xulhaz Mannan; he was someone I knew closely and deeply respected, and that is exactly why I know this is wrong. I also know he would not have wanted this kind of selective remembering that turns a shared loss into a singular story.
Why is Mahbub Rabbi Tonoy treated as an afterthought? Tonoy was not just “the other person,” not just “Xulhaz’s friend” as he is so often reduced to, but an activist, an organizer, a general secretary, someone who gave his life to the movement, whose work, presence, and life mattered in full.
But international media and even self-proclaimed progressive spaces continue to reduce that day into a single name, a single story, as if everything else can be folded into silence. This is not accidental; it reflects class politics, intellectual elitism, and the hierarchies that determine whose lives become legible and whose do not.
It is easier, more acceptable, more polished to center one figure, and so the other gets pushed out, again and again, until absence begins to feel normal. But memory does not get to work like that, because two people were killed, two lives were taken, and two activists were lost.
Now, please read his bio:
Born on April 24, 1991, Mahbub Rabbi Tonoy was a theatre artist, children’s educator, and LGBTQ+ rights activist whose work continues to shape how we remember and imagine queer presence in Bangladesh. He began performing at a young age and became deeply involved with Loknatya Dal, while also working with the People’s Theatre Association. Many remember him from SATV’s children’s program Tiring Biring, where he hosted a shadow puppet segment that brought storytelling to younger audiences. His theatre work took him beyond Bangladesh as well, representing the country in festivals in Turkey, Monaco, and Monte Carlo. Alongside his artistic practice, Tonoy was actively engaged in queer organizing. He founded the MDSS Cine Club to create space for conversations around films on homosexuality, and joined Boys of Bangladesh in 2013. In 2015, he took on the role of General Secretary of Roopbaan, where he contributed to organizing initiatives such as the Diversity Rally, queer youth engagement programs, and the publication of Roopongkti, one of the first queer poetry anthologies in Bangladesh. His work reflected a commitment to building community through both culture and activism. On April 25, 2016, Tonoy was killed alongside Xulhaz Mannan in a targeted hate crime that marked a turning point for queer visibility and vulnerability in Bangladesh. In 2021, a court sentenced six extremists to death, but the question of justice continues to remain unresolved in many ways, especially in how safety, visibility, and public space are still negotiated by queer and trans communities.
The least we can do is refuse this selective remembering and name what has been consistently erased, especially when we claim to care about justice and accountability. So the next time you speak about that day, whether it is April 25 or any commemoration, say both names, remember both lives, and refuse the comfort of an incomplete story, because anything less is not just incomplete, it is unjust.
This piece is part of Ten Years After: Remembering Xulhaz and Tonoy, a special collection by the Bangladesh Feminist Archives marking ten years since the murders of Xulhaz Mannan and Mahbub Rabbi Tonoy. To read all contributions, click here.